Although I have not seen Frozen and I have (perhaps luckily) heard its big song less than a half dozen times, the refrain is playing on a loop in my brain.
After what feels like a hundred years (really been about eight), at the end of this month, I am leaving my positions on the boards of my state craft guild* and my local chapter.** I am sure it is what I want, what I need, and what the organizations need, but I do it with mixed feelings.
Many of you, I am sure, have found yourselves in similar circumstances: you’ve dedicated a large chunk of your energy, your brains, and your passion to a cause, an event, a job and one day, you wake up and realize you have no more to give.
You know it’s time for you to turn over the reins to someone else. You’ve done your fair share and then some . . . but you feel a little bit funny walking away, even knowing that you truly NEED to take back your self.
I’ll admit there are a few ugly reasons that keep me from simply feeling relieved at unharnessing my self-imposed yoke. First, I feel an unreasonable pang of guilt for leaving a post (feels like quitting – I hate quitting!) that I know will be better served by fresh ideas. Perhaps, it’s more that I fear that my value as a person is diminished, now that I am not a recognized member of the varsity . . .
The worst, shamefully, is that I fear giving up control within these two organizations to which I have been so deeply devoted. It’s a selfish and silly feeling, but, there it is. What if those who succeed me do not treat my babies with the same love and respect? What if they decide to cut their hair, change their names, or let them speak French???
They will – because they accept the role for the same reason as I did – to serve the organizations and help them prosper – exercise the same care and invest the same thoughtfulness and assert the same passion as I did these last several years.
If familiarity does not absolutely breed contempt, it surely breeds stagnation; it is time for me to let it go . . . or in the words of another famous movie songstress, Lili Von Schtupp, Let’s face it – I’m exhausted!
*Pennsylvania Guild of Craftsmen www.pacrafts.org
**Yellow Breeches Chapter www.ybcrafts.org