Ineligible Blogger Downfield

1 02 2017

In my house, we love lists, we love sports, and we love being silly, so, here are some things you might not know about this Sunday’s big game:

The Top Ten Alternative Facts about the Super Bowl

10.   Bill Belichick was the brains behind Slytherin.

9.     Record for the longest National Anthem ever:  The Grateful Dead.

8.     In spite of the pronouncements of dozens of  MVPs, not a single one has actually gone to Disney World.

7.     In deference to someone’s sensitivity about size, this year, the Budweiser Clydesdales will be replaced by the Puppy Bowl cheerleaders.

6.     If the Pats win, Art Spander, fake news reporter,  will be declared MVP. Patriots will deny that they had anything to do with him “accidentally” picking up Kyle Shanahan’s playbook-filled backpack.

5.    As of January 20, 2017, Gronk is now both a proper noun and a verb.

4.    Angry because he was not chosen to officiate this year’s game, Ed Hochuli will sneak up on Roger Goodell and knock him out with a folding chair. HOCHULI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3.   First wardrobe malfunction in the game’s history was when Joe Namath got a run in his panty hose.

2.   Tom Brady’s ball boy is responsible for more deflated balls than steroids.

1.    The Patriots did NOT steal the Eagles’ plays and signals. They were just that awesome. They used their superior intellect to know every time the Eagles were going to blitz –  whether the Eagles were going to run or pass – they were just that awe-inspiring. (No, I am NOT over it and no, it doesn’t get better.)

Just to remind you, this IS Super Bowl LI . . . pronounced, we are sure, “LIE.”

BONUS TRIVIA QUESTION:

Name the Super Bowl winning team that had no felons on the roster.

Trick question! Never happened!

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2 responses

1 02 2017
theafine

LOVED IT, as always, Paula!!!!

1 02 2017
Nancy Gibbs

LOL!!!!!

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