A Month of Thanks – Chapter Four

23 11 2016

You know that it’s never wise to tempt Fate; she always rises to the challenge. A Month of Thanks has surely energized her, but the duel’s not done yet,  so here’s my final thanks of Turkey-month 2016.

This week, I am thankful for:

Loss.

Take THAT, Fate!

Fate gets a big middle-finger salute; the rest of you deserve an explanation.

A little more than six years ago, I lost my daughter. She was murdered by Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  It was the worst thing that ever happened to me, because Jessica was the best thing.  No one could have told me how much she would affect me – that she would make me a lot stronger, a little smarter, and immeasurably kinder than I would have been without her brief and sparking twenty years.

Am I saying I am glad I lost her?  Of course not.

Would I change the course of history to have her back? Absolutely.

But, I can’t.

We all face terrible abuse at the hand of Fate. She is capricious and feels no pity for any of us. She does not care about our broken hearts, so railing against her is just a waste of energy. It’s like yelling at the wind. You’ll grow hoarse, but it will blow until it is ready to quit of its own accord.

When the wind stops, that’s the time to assess the situation. What have we lost?  What has been damaged?  What remains?  What has been uncovered?  Was some wonderful something hidden revealed?  Look.

This week, I am thankful that – not in spite of, but because of loss – I understand more deeply and appreciate more fully the wonder,  joy, and love of family and friends.

Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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5 responses

23 11 2016
Dave Wiltsey

A great word as always, thank you for the reminder that it is far better to celebrate the eternal influence and love from those lost than mourn constantly what could have been.

23 11 2016
scorchedeyebrowstudio

Thank you, Dave. I appreciate your kindness.

23 11 2016
Judy

There must be some onions over at my house, too.

23 11 2016
scorchedeyebrowstudio

Thanks for letting me know I am in good company, Judy.

23 11 2016
carlislebuds@comcast.net

Because I am a Neanderthal, I’m not even on social media. My choice. I’ll never experience your loss unless I have the misfortune to plan Elaine’s funeral. My hope is that we would go together. But life is short and true friendships must never be squandered. I know how much Elaine treasures your friendship. I hope you realize that. Dave

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