Good Grief

30 12 2015

Here we are, about to turn out the lights on another year. For some of us, that means it’s closing time and we are heading home alone and forlorn. For others, it means we’re headed for a good night’s rest and a brilliant start to 2016. Some of us are just afraid of the dark.

I’d like to talk about the dark, just for a moment. It’s not something I often discuss, especially not here, with you, on Wednesdays, but I hope you will indulge me.

This has been a hard year for many of you, my friends. I understand, better than I want, how it feels.

Since losing my beautiful daughter in 2010, I have done my best to honor her brightness by celebrating life, by finding joy, by being happy.

I’ll bet you understand that.

I’m pretty good at it, but it takes a lot of energy. It is unsustainable without taking a short break, now and then, to honor Grief.

I’d like to tell you how I do that. I hope it might help you.

I can’t deny Grief’s existence, but I do not allow it to gallop wildly through the halls of my everyday life, so, in the mansion that is my heart, there is a room where Grief lives.

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Grief is messy and dark and ugly, but I must look in on it, from time to time, to be sure it is not bothering its neighbors. The room where Grief lives has no chairs and certainly no bed in which to wallow, so my visits are brief. I feel Grief’s essence; I respect that it is alive in me; but I do not stay with Grief. I leave that room and close the door firmly.

This next part will sound mad, but here goes – Grief is good for us.

It makes us appreciate life.

There are times when feeling the depth of our grief is like shooting dangerous rapids. We are drenched, exhausted, half-drowned, but still alive.  We are sputtering and shaking, a bit disoriented, but still alive and we are reassured by this proof that Grief does not kill us.

Grief ‘s sole and important purpose is to remind us that we are fortunate to have known love and that more love remains to be given.

For 2016, I will, of course, renew Grief’s lease on the space it occupies, but I will continue to build beautiful joy-filled additions onto my heart with cherished old friends and family and ones I’ve yet to meet. You’re all welcome.

Peace and Love and Health and Joy.

Happy New Year.

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8 responses

30 12 2015
Carol Johnson

I appreciate your internal grief room concept. I’ve come to know mine as like having a stone in my pocket. I go for periods of time without paying much attention to it and then from time to time I bring it out of my pocket and hold it with my full attention. Actually it is only of late that I am the one choosing. For a long time, it was the stone. Happy New Year to us!

31 12 2015

Thank you, Cousin, for sharing your grief stone. We know each other’s pain too well. Happy New Year to us, indeed.

31 12 2015

Thank-You for allowing us in. You are a treasure my friend. And you SO have a “mansion” for a heart – that made me smile. I also sometime feel a need to visit grief but it is mostly my choice when, as Carol said. And I am able to eventually shake it off and revisit good memories from those times or realize how far I’ve come and All the good that surrounds me. The Disney movie Inside Out addresses the need for sadness in order to appreciate joy. it is such a delight that one doesn’t realize the strong message til the end and then, BAM!
I’m so thankful you will be a part of my 2016 🙂

31 12 2015

Janice, your friendship decorates one of my very favorite heart mansion places. Thank you, my dear friend.

1 01 2016

So glad to have found your beautiful posts. With all best wishes for 2016. xx

1 01 2016

Happy 2016 to you, Lin. I’m honored to have you as a reader. I am looking forward to being inspired by you, this year.

20 01 2016

Yes to all you have said here… It resonates perfectly with me!

21 01 2016

Thank you, Dear Danielle.

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