Debatable Reality

16 09 2015

Since it’s another Presidential Primary Debate night, that means regular TV will be screwed up for election reality competition. Thinking about that gave me a few ideas for putting the present clutch of 2016 hopefuls into a different kind of reality television. Contenders are named in current average polling order, with Republicans first, in deference to the debate, and then the Dems.

Feel free to make your own match-ups, but here are the ones that came to me:

The Donald Trump 

The Biggest Loser (of course)

Dr. Ben, the Brain Surgeon, Carson

RuPaul’s Drag Race (to see why some choosy men choose men)

Jeb “!” Bush 

Big Brother (oh, shit!)

Ted “Bacon and Bullets” Cruz

The Amazing Race Canada (that’s a real show; he just needs the Mexico version, now)

Marco “The Fast and the Florida” Rubio    

The Apprentice (Jeb Bush understudy)

Mike “Hallelujah” Huckabee    

The People’s Court (because he doesn’t recognize the Supreme Court)

Rand “I’m a Doctor, Too” Paul    

Ridiculousness (self-explanatory)

Carly “CEO” Fiorina    

The X Factor (which will be renamed the XX Factor)

Scott (could be an  actual) Walker     

Chopped (like he did to unions)

The Suspiciously Reasonable John Kasich    

Shark Tank (you have some good ideas, but the panel is hostile)

Chris “Sorry I hugged Obama” Christie    

Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives (sorry, too easy)

Rick “Do NOT Google Me” Santorum    

19 Kids and Counting (the show needs a new larger-than-usual family, stat!)

Bobbie “Not My Real Name” Jindal    

America’s Funniest Home Videos (remember that ’09 State of the Union rebuttal)

Lindsey “It’s a Boy’s Name, too!”Graham    

The Bachelor (also, too easy)

Hillary “Bill’s Wife – Remember, you LIKE Him” Clinton     

Storage Wars (for all that baggage)

Bernie “Red” Sanders     

The Voice (of the very liberal, the very young, and Larry David)

Oh, Joe Biden    

Last Comic Standing (if he enters, it could get funny)

Martin “Diane Rehm’s Bitch” O’Malley    

Undercover Boss (so far undercover, no one knows this dude)

Jim “Someone, Please Notice Me” Webb    

Wife Swap (he’s had three, so far . . . )

Lincoln “I Snubbed W” Chafee    

Intervention (how he overcame being a Republican)

 You know, the more I think about it, they could all just be regulars on one show:

Penn and Teller: Bullshit!




3 responses

16 09 2015

Hysterical!!! You had me at Biggest Loser!!! You never disappoint!

17 09 2015

loved it! And right on target for the most part!!! Expected to see “the good, the bad and the ugly” in there somewhere! LOL.

21 09 2015

On Point ! as usual:)

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