I am a lucky woman. I am happily married.
Here’s a little episode, a real conversation from a few weeks ago, between my dear husband and me that illustrates a key to said happy marriage. We’d both been out of sorts for a few days. We’d both been just a little bit cranky, a little bit blue, and were just a little bit tired of the other’s foul mood . . .
Dear Husband, half-smile: Wish you weren’t so grouchy.
Damn Fine Wife, sideways glance: It’s your fault. You started it.
Dear Husband, deadpan delivery: Yes, but that was the 80’s.
We both knew we had not been easy to live with for a few days. Both of us were responsible for our own little thunderclouds and each of us had reason to complain about the other’s behavior. We could have had an argument – picked a fight over something unimportant, just to vent our mutual frustration with life at the moment. Lots of folks do that. (Dear Husband is a divorce lawyer, so we’re not just guessing about this behavior.) We do not enjoy arguing, except about Jeopardy or sporting events, so we made a joke. We laughed.
When we share a laugh with someone we love, wonderful things happen. Trivial problems are put in their place. Unfounded or exaggerated bumps in the road simply cannot survive the sound of laughter. That means far fewer silly arguments and much more happiness.
If all else fails, blame it on the 80’s – they deserve it.