So What Am I . . . Chopped Liver?

29 08 2012

Remember hearing this lament in some old movie comedies, often uttered when a compliment paid or affection directed to another person should, the speaker feels, be hers?

Oh, poor me!  They’re caviar and I’m just offal.  (No, I did not misspell “awful.”)

Well, let me tell you what I, the shiksa wife, have learned about chopped liver. It’s way better than caviar.  Now, let me get this out of the way, right up front – I do not eat either of these two “delicacies;” however, I have a wonderful husband and a dear father-in-law who love the stuff.

Caviar is pretty easy to serve. Gasp for breath while buying it, provide some toast points and a spoon, and that’s that.  Chopped liver, on the other hand, requires a few more steps . . .

  1. Gather the fat from the body cavities of a couple of chickens and render it slowly until it yields its golden liquid goodness – schmaltz.
  2. Chop onions enough to puddle tears and gently cook them in the schmaltz until they are the color of pale straw.
  3. Broil fresh chicken livers, which you’ve carefully cleaned with your own trembling hands, until almost cooked through.
  4. Chop the chicken livers, using a cutting board and two chef’s knives, even though the Cuisinart taunts you. (too gruesome to photograph!)
  5. Stir the results of your knife wizardry into the onions, add salt and pepper, give a quick turn on the heat, then add to a bowl of chopped hard-cooked eggs.
  6. Refrigerate the stuff for a few hours, and then give it to appreciative husband and father-in-law.

Anybody with a bank account can serve caviar. It takes time, attention, and love to serve a proper chopped liver. That, to me, makes it much better stuff.  The time I take to prepare something special for someone I love is time lost in thanks for all the happiness they bring to my life. It’s my time to appreciate the goodness that is my family – and in about three hours, it will be their time to appreciate the goodness that is, of course, chopped liver.



2 responses

29 08 2012

too funny! I don’t like chopped liver or caviar either. 😉

29 08 2012

You need to add my Momma’s secret…a few capfuls of vermouth!

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