Helpless

6 06 2012

I am lucky.  I have a wonderful family, ready to help with any project, big or small.  Why, then, am I in such a state of stress whenever I need a hand?

Last weekend, I did an outdoor one-day craft festival.  I needed to borrow a van and I needed help to set up and break down my exhibit (about an hour early the morning and another at the end of the show.)  My usual suspect helpers, husband and mother, were not available because of other family commitments, so I had to look down the line – to my sister. She is just the BEST sister anyone could have, but I was freaked out completely that she was putting herself out for me.

After we got my booth set up and I had a very successful show, I realized how ridiculous I’d behaved, working myself into a lather earlier in the week; fretting over inconveniencing my sister, even though I truly did need the help and she was happy to give it.

Snap out of it, Lewis!  I was not concerned (crazed) at the prospect of my sister, who loves me, giving me some of her time.  I was pissed that I needed help.  I just do not like that feeling – helpless.  That’s the way I defined it, anyway, until I really thought about it Saturday evening.

It’s not helpless to need someone’s assistance from time to time.  It is part of life.  If you’re lucky, it’s part of family.  I am lucky. I will never be helpless.

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5 responses

6 06 2012
lindabillet

I met an extremely established artist that was at the top of his game. He told me that he NEVER asks for help and when it is offered, he turns it down. This was his prelude to the real story. We had been talking about how the things we need mysteriously turn up at the right time. He proceeded to tell me about the time he was flat on his back, sick for weeks when friends came to the rescue buying about $30G of his artwork just when he needed it. Then he said that he still would never take help unless he was desparate. So really, what he needed was a situation where he would need to accept help. It was delivered. I told him that he should learn the lesson he was supposed to learn so he doesn’t need to be knocked on his arse again! Besides, if you love to help people, why would you deprive people of the joy of helping you! Nobody is talking about abuse.

7 06 2012
MARIA ETTEL

PAULA–YOUR HONESTY SHINES!
NOW–BALANCE YOUR FEELINGS WITH THE SELFLESS WAY YOU ARE THERE FOR OTHERS IN NEED. DOESN’T THAT WARM YOUR HEART?
GIVE FRIENDS AND PHYLLIS THE RIGHT TO THOSE SAME FEELINGS, SWEETHEART.
YOU ARE THE BEST!
;LOVE FROM MY HEART–XO XO XO XO

7 06 2012
scorchedeyebrowstudio

Thank you, Dear Maria. You are a wise and generous woman. Love to you.

7 06 2012
janice

Paula..I SO understand! I will climb on a kitchen chair then the counter to reach something that Bob could do effortlessly if I would wait 15 mins for him to come home and Allow him to help. I have climbed on Countless grocery store first shelves to reach something..after first emptying my foothold step of merchandise, which I have to return. I,too, have not asked for help w shows and it’s Exhausting to set up and tear down solo. I could go on and on. How ridiculous am I ? I like the above comments & will have to tweek my attitude. XO XO XO

7 06 2012
Sharon Ruth

Wow! You are reading my mind. I have this stupid philosophy that needing help makes me weak. No, I think I am blessed that I have family and friends who love and care for me, willing to help when I call.

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