Love Is Not Blind

5 10 2011

What is it about new love that changes the way we see?  Think about it.  Every wonderful, beautiful, clever thing about the object of our affection is as if lit by a thousand spotlights.  Everything our mother/best friend/dog sees as a disadvantage, we see as cute or quirky or endearing; same person, but very different impression.

I am extraordinarily lucky to know a few incredibly happy long-married couples. How’s that work? I believe the kind of love that makes a lasting relationship starts out, like all passions, rose-colored-filtering our view, but overtime, it changes our viewpoint. We see the not-so-endearing aspects of our spouses more realistically than in the early days of our romance.  Years together have eroded the aura of our “perfect” mate.  Our ability to see all those wonderful, beautiful, clever things as clearly as ever, though, remains intact.

Lasting love is not what we feel for someone we believe is perfect.  Love is what we feel for someone we know is not perfect, but we know we don’t ever want to live without.  Great marriages are not always joyous, smooth-running, exciting – sometimes, they are pain-in-the-ass, frustrating, boring.  The love that makes it work, though, is unwavering throughout.

Life is the same.

Perfect?  No.

Worth it?  Absolutely.

Love your spouse.

Love your parents.

Love your children.

Love your friends.

Love yourself.

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2 responses

5 10 2011
Lois Quigley

AMEN! After 55 years, you said it all!…….

6 10 2011
Jean

SO true, Paula! I am married to a truly imperfect man, & I am a truly imperfect woman. What could be better? We should all tell someone you love them every day. You never know what a difference it will make in their lives. I love you, my friend!

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