Reality Check

18 08 2010

It is a gift to be a mother. It is natural for a woman to be a mother;   therefore it is easy to be a mother – NOT!

As I reflect on the miraculously joyful and laugh-filled life I shared with my Jessica, I am permitting myself to absorb the enormity of the responsibility that was raising a handicapped child.  It is natural to remember all the good times, and I will treasure those memories as the jewels of my life; however, I feel I owe a duty to other mothers, especially those who face the challenge of special needs children, to tell the whole truth.

Children are gifts, but like many gifts:

                Some Assembly Required

                Recharge Batteries Fully

                Clean with a Damp Soft Cloth

                Protect from Extreme Temperatures

                No Returns/No Refunds


Many of us have felt those pangs of self-doubt, wondering, when we are feeling overwhelmed and undernourished and sleep-deprived, how we could be such “terrible mothers!”  We are sure that no other mother ever felt so scared/angry/sad/punch-drunk/crazy and we must be truly awful human beings. 

Okay, it’s time for a reality check.

Being a mother is hard work as much as it is anything else.  Mothers are expected to rise to every occasion, whether it requires the strength of a weight-lifter; the speed of a sprinter; the agility of a gymnast; the patience of a chess master – and all with the grace of a Geisha!  I don’t know about all you other mothers, but I was never much of an athlete and motherhood did not really come with a good conditioning program.  We just are expected to be able to do these things because we are Mom, and so, we do.

Because of the awesome responsibility and the unrelenting nature of motherhood, we will, of course, feel tired/underappreciated/physically ill/depressed/mad-as-hell-and-not-going-to-take-it-anymore (for about four minutes.) This does not mean we are bad mothers.  It means we are people who happen to also be mothers.  We are good mothers who love our children and who would sacrifice everything to give them the best life possible.  Remember we need to care for ourselves so we can continue to be good mothers. 

Mothers, respect yourselves and the fine, wonderful, hard work you do for your families. 

Children and husbands and friends, respect the moms in your life and understand that, while we always love you with all our heart, we deserve a breather once in a while. 

We will never not love you.

We will not abandon our post,

but, once in a while, it is really nice to get to go to the bathroom in peace.



3 responses

18 08 2010
Maggie Little

Go to the bathroom in peace? Not as long as I also have cats.

18 08 2010

Ahhhh, I’m counting this as one of my happies for the day. You def made me smile….a big one!

20 08 2010
Teresa Matheson

I stumbled upon your blog through paintingwithfire. I’m so sorry about your loss, and so glad you had time with your daughter, as we know that every day is a gift. My son was a cancer patient also, he survived, but i know and appreciate how tenuous that is. blessings to you and your husband.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: