The End of the World?

22 07 2010

Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?  It ended when you said, “Goodbye.”

Sylvia Dee wrote these lyrics, first recorded in 1963 by Skeeter Davis, then later by over twenty-five different artists.  Clearly Ms Dee hit a nerve common to almost all of us.

There is, I think, a flaw in the logic of this extremely popular tune.  The “end of the world,”  to me, connotes a void.  When we lose someone we love, there is no void. There is Anguish.

Anguish.

Anger.

Loneliness.

Fear.

Profound and aching Sadness.

As  time passes,  we begin to feel blunted – grim, resigned, tired. Then one day, we begin to feel . . .  normal.  We regain our ability, slowly and falteringly, to appreciate the full range of life’s lows and highs.

I think when we lose someone we love it is not like the end of the world; it is like being thrown into the ocean.  Rip currents of grief drag us under and carry us far off course.  We feel we are surely going to perish in the churning depths of despair.  Suddenly, we find ourselves cast onto the shore, sputtering, disoriented, but alive. 

Losing a love is not the end of the world. It is the ebb and flow of the tides, the passing of time, the bruising and healing of the heart.  It is a shared human experience. 

We continue.

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6 responses

22 07 2010
Diane McLauchlan

To experience such a loss does make one feel like it’s the end of the world, or should be, as the anguish is so great. Fortunately we do go on and, over time, the anguish is tempered with gentle, loving memories of times shared. Those memories plant themselves in the depths of our being, slowly turning into a gentle warming glow, providing its own unique comfort … a tender gift of the life force from the one you lost.

22 07 2010
Designs By Roxan

Paula, Your post was so poignant and brought back all the feeling I had when my dad died. While I was going through my own pain, my dad was going through his and was always angry, and very unpleasant to be around. In a way it was a gift he gave me since by the time he took his last breath we were all glad it was finally over and peace was restored in all our lives. It allowed us not to hang on and keep him here because of our own loss and feelings; it allowed us to free him up to go where he needed to go. I learned so much from this experience. It is easy to love the lovable but far harder to see through bad behavior and love the soul behind it all. As the pain from his death faded I was able to see through the veil of anger, anguish, and behavior to have compassion and love for the man who gave me life. Letting go of a loved one is the hardest thing we will ever have to do, and I pray you will be able to release Jessie when the time is right. You are in my prayers.

22 07 2010
spirit2go

you nailed it, my friend….

Arlene (of the profound and aching sadness)

22 07 2010
Tammy Estep

Well Paula you have inspired me to blog. May I offer you some comfort from another writer Tony Arata and recorded by Garth Brooks. Because music is my comfort I have always found these lyrics so truthful and touching that evertime I hear it I think “Wow” what a great song! For now “Let’s Dance”!

The Dance

” And now I’m glad I didn’t know.
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the Dance”

24 07 2010
Erin Keck

I feel for you my friend. This all hits so close to home. Taking care of my best friend, my mother for 13 years and then being with her as she passed on. It was so hard to let her go. Her aide told me a week or so before Mom left,
“You are so lucky to have her right now. Live for right now, There will be time to grieve after she is gone.” She was so right. We can only live for now. Who knows what tomorrow or even the next few hours will bring. It may be us, ourselves who in some bizarre circumstance will be chosen to pass and taken from those who love us.
Now after the grief of my personal loss has subsided, to look at the future as I do without my mother here on earth it is a comfort in my faith to know that I will be with her again someday.

25 07 2010
Pam

15 months ago my mother passed away 3 days after her 73rd birthday after more than 2 years of fighting the worst/best fight I’ve ever seen.

I loved her so much she had to stay.

I loved her so much I had to let her go.

She asked me to speak for her when she no longer could.

I loved her so much I had to let her go.

You are the strongest woman I know now Paula.

You, Ken, and Jessie are in my thoughts and prayers. You are not alone.

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