WARNING: This one disturbs me. Prepare for unexpurgated response to the raising of my personal ethics hackles.
Found this in my Facebook newsfeed today, surprising me that it had been shared by someone I did not think was a “spare the rod” kind of person. There are a few things to which I take exception (euphemism for “piss me off”) in this little statement.
I know this will not be a heartily embraced position, but I am old enough to know that sometimes, being right does not guarantee being liked and I accept that.
There’s no reason to commit violence, except when the alternative is grave injury to one’s self or someone else who is defenseless against attack. If you hit me for any other reason, you’ll go to jail for assault. In whose right mind is it more acceptable to hit a child? If a person – a child, for example – is not able to understand the consequences of a behavior, or is even too young to control their behavior (brain science is all over this), what makes anybody think that hitting that individual will teach them anything except that hitting is an acceptable way to show disapproval?
Kids who are hit learn to hit. Sure, they modify their behavior around the person who hit them – they learn not to get caught. They don’t learn anything about why their behavior is unacceptable. They don’t learn how to make better decisions later. They don’t learn to respect themselves. They learn to be sneaky or afraid. Neither of those traits will help them be productive happy adults.
So much for the first part of the story – Don’t advocate violence against children.
Now for that pesky idea about needing to teach kids respect by hitting them . . . if you believe this, I, a full-grown adult person with an AARP card and gray hair, will most certainly NOT respect you.
Respect is due to those who show respect to others. Respect is to be earned, not bestowed.
I believe that some of us do nothing to deserve respect from anyone, including our children. How many parents behave respectfully toward each other? What is the reality for families in today’s society? Kids learn what their parents show them. Kids need to be shown respect – self-respect and respect of others.
I heartily endorse more respect from and for all of us.